It Really Was Magic

A while ago I mentioned how I was watching the show Merlin in order to help feed my addiction to British television but was having a difficult time getting into it. The story lines were cheesy, the characters were lame, the special effects were what you'd expect them to be: both cheesy and lame. But there was something about it that made me want to keep watching despite all of this. So I did. And I'm quite happy I did.

Because around the middle of the second season I realized something. The show was getting good. The characters were finally developing. The story lines were getting a little darker and more interesting. And the special effects were improving. I no longer cared that the show wasn't congruent with the traditional myths and legends. It pulled many elements from the myths, but obviously did not depend on them. The show had its own story to tell.

By the end of the third season, Merlin had grown into itself and become quite epic. The story lines were no longer light pieces of fantasy fluff. They were more intense. The stakes were higher for the characters. And the fight scenes were vastly improved and I actually enjoyed watching them.

look at the intensity! 

And by the fifth and final season, gone were the carefree and silly Merlin and Arthur. In their places were intense, determined characters whose responsibilities weighed heavy and whose futures were uncertain. Well, sort of uncertain. Everyone who knows the legends knows how their stories will end.

Of course I get into the show just as it's ending. The final episode aired on Christmas Eve. I knew how it would end. I knew it was going to be sad. But knowing did not prepare me enough. I was literally sobbing during the last fifteen minutes. (and when I use the word literally, I really do mean it. I know the definition and I know how to use it properly) Granted, it doesn't take much for me to get really attached to characters and thus become really emotional when they die. It's part of the reason I don't watch dramas with people around. I'd be too busy trying to not look like an idiot, crying over fictional deaths, that I wouldn't be able to properly engage in the program. I like to immerse myself in whatever I'm watching (or reading, or listening to), especially if it's the first time I've seen it. That's hard to do with a group of people.

It was such a good show in the end. Totally worth it.

I Always Do What Chocolate Tells Me

Only when it's dark chocolate though. I need to be clear on that point. I love me some dark chocolate. Milk chocolate is tolerable, but only in the most dire, need-chocolate-now types of situations. Or when it has almonds. I love almonds in chocolate. And almonds in dark chocolate? Heaven.

So when my mother offered me a small Dove Chocolate that was dark, how could I possible say no? Now, if you've ever had a one those mini Dove Chocolates, you know that on the inside of the foil wrapper there's always a quote. Stuff like, "Be fearless" or "Make the most of everyday" or "You are exactly who you are supposed to be". Sappy, inspirational drivel like that. Like fortune cookies, but more delicious. My chocolate fortune this particular time was this:

How could I possibly deny such a request? It's more of a command really. And when dark chocolate commands you to do something, you best listen. So I did:

I've tallied two snow angels this year. That's more than I've made in probably the last ten years. I don't know what this means. But I thought it was worth noting. Happy Holidays!

*Hyacinths and Biscuits*

I mentioned several times in my last post how I kept finding all sorts of interesting, nostalgia laced things in my closet. These might not be that interesting, but they certainly reek of reminiscence to me. My poetry notebooks:

also, I was really into collages

Yes. I was that girl in high school. I carried these around with me everywhere, writing and doodling in them whenever we had nothing to do in class. Which was often. I won't even pretend that they are any good. There might be one or two that could be worth something (after a great deal of revising).

So this is one I found in my old notebooks. I don't know if it's any good or even salvageable. I'm a terrible judge of my own work. But as I reread it, I found that I still kinda like it. It's silly and pointless but fun.

Get Ready

The stars are aligned,
and fate is ready for the show.
Your karma is all set.
Are you ready to go? 

Destiny is waiting for you.
The 'meant to be' has arrived.
The horoscope is written.
Are you ready to take the dive? 

Chance has sent you a gift.
The fortune teller was right.
Your good luck is here
Are you ready to hold tight? 

Pulling order from the chaos,
it may be a truth or a lie.
But tonight is your night.
Are you ready to fly?

By Jamie Rueckert

Interference

This last week hasn't been quite what I wanted it to be. There were numerous projects I wanted (needed) to get done. Cleaning my room. Organizing all my stuff. Go to the coffee place downtown. Well I did end up doing that last one, but only once. I meant to go more.

So what has Jamie been doing to occupy the time and keep from going insane? Let me make a list for you:

1: Knit no more! (but not really)

my projects are not as rude or as cool

I have set aside my knitting for the moment. Last week I cleaned out my closet (threw out a great deal of stuff that I had been hanging on to for no discernible reason) and found my box of cross stitching paraphernalia. I learned the art of cross stitching some years ago. I was in middle school if I'm not mistaken. I recalled how much I enjoyed this particular hobby so I decided to take it up again. Most of the patterns I have I got on clearance because the local cross stitching/ hardanger/ Scandinavian knick knack/ coffee shop was closing. Thus, the patterns I have are not exactly my favorite, but I enjoy them nonetheless. I read somewhere that Dame Judi Dench likes to do needlepoint when there's down time on the set of her movies. Reportedly, she enjoys making elaborate designs that include rude sayings and swear words and then gives these as gifts. I don't know if this story is true, but I certainly hope that it is. Judi Dench: making needlepoint cool. 

2: Now you can ride the rides!

creeps

Another long forgotten item I unearthed from the bowels my closet is one of the very few computer games I ever owned: Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. I spent many hours of my youth playing this game. I decided to see if I still found it fun. I do. I find it immensely fun. The graphics are terrible, of course. But I've never been one to overly care about things like that. I'm just having a good time building stuff and messing with the peeps in the game. That's what they're called in the game. Peeps. Like those gross little marshmallow chickens. And now that's what I think of whenever I play the game. I suppose they have the same beady little eye thing going on. And they both look disfigured in one way or another. But the roller coasters are fun. I like building things. Even virtual things. 

3: Something about it being elementary...

BOOM!

and this is how far i am

I have begun the long and arduous journey of reading The Complete Sherlock Homes. I say arduous not because the stories aren't enjoyable. I'm finding them to be quite delicious in fact. This journey is going to be arduous (doesn't look like a word anymore) because the book is so damn massive! 1077 pages. (I suppose I have read books this long and longer before) But what else could you expect when it contains all of the Sherlock Homes? All sixty stories written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle packed nicely into one shiny, leather bound book. I'm only on the first one, A Study in Scarlet. And I've already found a new favorite phrase: ineffable twaddle! Watson cries this after reading a magazine article written by Sherlock. My new goal is to use this phrase in everyday conversations whenever I get a chance. 

4: Wolverines. Who knew?

Oh, I also went to see Red Dawn. I was pleasantly surprised. It was not terrible. (please note that I've never seen the original) I was actually quite entertained. However, the entire time I kept thinking of this clip from Family Guy. Despite that (or perhaps because of it) I was rather pleased with the movie. I would include a picture of the ticket stub again but I seem to have lost it. It is a very small piece of paper. So I wrote a note on our chalkboard in case someone else might find it:

An Expected Delight

I meant to post something about this last Friday. I meant to brag about this so much earlier.

Guess who got to see The Hobbit at the midnight release last week? This girl!

Spectacular. Amazing. Marvelous. There are not enough adjectives to describe how it felt returning to Middle Earth. For you see, I am a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings. Though I refuse to refer to myself as a 'ringer'. That's what they call people in The Lord of the Rings fandom. I think is sounds a little ridiculous. But I suppose it isn't much worse than some of the other names people come up with for fandoms: Sherlockians. Whovians. Potterheads. Twihards. Trekkies. Really, I could go on for quite awhile listing them.  But I digress.

look. look how wonderful he is.

Back to the main point. I loved this movie. I loved it as much as I loved the other three. (one of the best birthday gifts I ever received was a box set of the trilogy on DVD; I wore those discs out) This movie turned  out to be everything I hoped for and more. Martin Freeman was absolutely brilliant as Bilbo. I love that man. He plays two of my favorite characters of all time: Bilbo Baggins and John Watson from BBC's Sherlock. He is just wonderful.

Opinions about The Hobbit may be mixed, but for me it was an undeniable success. The music alone was enough to win me over. It was definitely Lord of the Rings music, but it had its own flavor as well. I mean, listen to the song the dwarves sing and try not to fall in love.

Oh, the dwarves! How I loved them all! Though I could not, even if my life depended on it, remember all their names. Thorin. That was the only one I was sure of. I looked up the other ones and they are as follows: Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, and Ori. You can imagine why one would have difficulties keeping them straight. 

Now all I have to do is wait a year for the next one to come out. I'm already excited. 

I should probably try to read the books before then. I have all of them. I keep meaning to read them. But I just never seem to have the time. 

not like it would take that much time

Universally Acknowledged

my Austen collection

...for now

Getting this one in just under the wire.

For today is December 16, the birthday of one of my favorite authors: Jane Austen.


And that's really all I have to say about that for the moment.

So I'll just leave you with a few of my favorite Jane Austen quotes.

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”

“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.”

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”

“Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion.”

 “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” 

“Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.”

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

I dearly love this woman's books. I don't care what Mark Twain has to say about them.

A Big, Bloody Ship

I had the most fortunate opportunity to see Skyfall in theaters the day it came out at a midnight release. During this trip to the cinema, I had the novel experience of feel wholly under dressed in a movie theater. Over half the audience were wearing suits. I suppose it was only to be expected. It is James Bond after all. But I digress.

The movie was, in a word, delicious. The best one of the Daniel Craig installments in the franchise. It was new, it was old, it was marvelous. It paid homage to the ones that came before but it wasn't in your face about it. It was the subtle things and the not so subtle things. I won't list any of them here, lest I spoil the film for anyone. It just felt like a true James Bond movie. It had that certain something. Something Casino Royale didn't have much of and something that Quantum of Solace lacked almost completely.

And don't get me started on the villain. Javier Bardem was pure perfection as Silva. He was so evil, but he was so good. He was twisted, demented, damaged, (just how I like my evil masterminds) but there was something about him that called out to the viewer. Something that made you relate to him on some level, just enough to make you uncomfortably sympathetic for his character. And, unlike the last two movies, it was clear who the bad guy was. And there was only one. Something I really disliked in Quantum was the sheer amount of evildoers. Too many villains for one movie.

This film has cemented Daniel Craig onto my list of all time favorite actors. He was perfect. (I'm aware of how much I'm using that word, but it's the only way to describe these things) All of the actors were perfect. Judy Dench was her usual flawless self. Ralph Fiennes was finally in a role were he didn't need to constantly whisper. (see Harry Potter and Clash of the Titans franchises) And this newcomer, Ben Whishaw, was just amazing as Q. But of course, all the fan girls out there are now shipping James Bond and Q hard. That is, of course, when they're not shipping Bond and Silva. It's mildly annoying, but to each their own I guess.

And one more thing before I finish raving: the song. Adele completely nailed this. Her song is so perfect for this movie, it's difficult to put it into coherent words. Her voice, the lyrics, the melodies that recall themes from the original movies. All of this combines into one piece of music/movie gold. If you haven't heard it, listen to it now. If you have, listen again. Now.

I can't even handle how amazing this is.

The Green Phoenix

photographic proof

Finally finished! Well, with knitting a that scarf anyway. In truth, I finished it two weeks ago. I'm just now getting around to posting about it. (because I know the internet is just dying to read about my knitting escapades) I can't tell you how many times I started, got a good ways along, then ripped it all out and started again. A lot. That is my best answer to that.

But here it is. My first knitting project completed. Ah, I love the feeling of finishing things.

Only thing is, I don't much care for it. The edges are all wonky. And it's so square. So I've decided I'm going to pull it apart and do it again. This time with the classic 'knit one, purl two' method I've heard so much about. And from the ashes of this scarf, a phoenix will arise! In the form a another scarf that will hopefully look just a little nicer. But this project was good practice.

The best part of it was it gave me something to do with my hands when watching television. I always need to be doing something with my hands. Once upon a time, that something was eating. But I've mostly kicked that habit. There is worse for your diet than mindlessly eating while watching TV. You don't even taste the food. It's just something you do without thinking about it. It's not good.

Turn And Face the Strange

This past month got away from me. Things happened, plans fell apart, goals were not met, etc. But big changes will happening in the world of Jamie very soon now. I can't say if things will be changed for the better (and now I have "For Good" stuck in my head, always a delight) but changed they will be. Consequences and all that.

But the year is almost over (and perhaps the world too, if you're into that sort of thing) and I can't keep this nagging feeling of optimism from creeping up on me and pushing away a little of the gloom. New beginnings always leave me with a sense of good things to come. Whether or not they actually do come is always a crap shoot.

Perhaps things will be looking up soon. Perhaps not. All I know is that there is finally a good, solid blanket of snow on the ground. And this never fails to please me.

perfection

*Hyacinths and Biscuits*

The second installment of my poetry segment after it has been named! I'm still not totally in love with the name, but I'm going to leave it be for now. 

So this is another poem I wrote for a class last year. We were assigned to write a sonnet. This is what I came up with. I rather enjoy it despite it's somewhat cliché-ness and lame title.

And that's about all I have to say about it. So, without further ado, here it is:

Words Unsaid

This silence does not fit.
It's too big for this space.
I wish I had strength to kill it,
But I can't; it has your face.

I wish I could scream or cry,
But no tears will come.
I want to ask you why,
But can't seem to move my tongue.

You read my silence as denial,
And so you turn to leave.
I had the words all the while,
But it's too late to make you believe.

Now I'm kept awake by words unsaid,
As they rattle around in my head.

By Jamie Rueckert 

Tennant Tuesday

I was was on Tumblr today, as I am on most days, and I came across this intriguing piece of gossip:

"We don’t know just how they’d pull it off, but Bleeding Cool has heard from a solid source that David Tennant will be returning to Doctor Who."

- Bleeding Cool website

To clarify, he would be returning for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special. Now, I don't who this "solid source" is, but they had better be right otherwise they are going to give false hope to an entire fandom (a very dedicated fandom, I might add). If this proves to be a fake, there will be severe repercussions.

From what I've witnessed of Steven Moffat's reign as show runner on Doctor Who, I find the entire thing to be unlikely. The man seems very committed to eradicating any evidence that the show existed before he got there. But there is always hope I suppose.

I, personally, might just die of happiness if Tennant returns. And judging from Tumblr today, I would not be alone.

Also, forgive me if I've gone overboard with the Tennant gifs. I'm afraid I simply could not help myself. You see, on Tumblr, Tennant Tuesday is a thing.

It Must Be Magic

So I've been looking for a new British import to fall in love with while I wait for Doctor Who and Downton Abbey to return.

My search led me to the show Merlin. It's BBC's attempt make Arthurian legend palatable for family viewing. So a lot of the story lines are diluted and dumbed down so as not to shock young children who might be watching. For example, in the show Morgana is not Arthur's sister. She's just a ward of Uther's. And Guinevere starts off as Morgana's maid. Now, I'm no expert at Arthurian legend, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it usually goes.

I want to like this show. I really do. It's entertaining enough. But there's just something about it. I'm having a very difficult time getting into it. The dialogue leaves much to be desired. The individual plots are questionable. Honestly, right now the best part of the show are the costumes. The budget for the capes alone must be outrageous. But they are fantastic.

Viewing Habits

I watched a number of shows and movies today (and by 'today' I now mean yesterday because I started writing this at 11:30 pm and did not finish before it became tomorrow) because I found that I had time on my hands. I will list them for you now:

1. New Girl

The first time I watched "New Girl," I was in love. This show is just fantastic. Exactly my kind of humor. Quirky, delightful, and sometimes a little perplexing. It has cemented my love for Zooey Deschanel (i do admire her so. especially her hair. i wish i had hair like hers) and led me to the wonderful discovery of the splendidness that is Jake Johnson. Today I watched the latest episode on Hulu and for 22 glorious minutes I forgot about my own problems and reveled in theirs. 

Side effect:

I have found that I get oddly chatty (and a little confrontational) after watching "New Girl" for an extended period of time. The characters in this show that that effect on me. Especially the character of Jess. She is so in-your-face with her unapologetic quirkiness and her amazing wardrobe. Her confidence and enthusiasm is infectious. Each character in this show has an odd form of charisma that just gets to me. 

2. Much Ado About Nothing

More specifically, a stage version starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate. This is one of my favorite bits of Shakespeare. I love the characters of Benedict and Beatrice, but then who doesn't? I watched Kenneth Branagh's movie version of the play over the summer and adored it. But this is David Tennant and Catherine Tate here. How could I not love it more? It is spectacular. 

Side effect:

It made me want to rewatch Hamlet. More specifically, the TV movie version starring David Tennant and Patrick Stewart. These two men are perfection. PBS has the entire thing on their website. If you feel inclined to see it for yourself, I suggest clicking here.

3. Supernatural

Episode 7 of season 8 aired tonight on the CW. I made a calendar appointment for it. I did not want to miss it. The character of Cas is finally coming back and I just couldn't wait to see how that would go down. And so, at precisely five to eight, I turned on my little telly. But the television gods were not with me tonight. My poor old television is on the fritz. The sound comes in just great. But the lack of picture leaves much to be desired. For a brief moment I actually considered just listening to the show before finally giving up.

Side effect:

And so now I must wait. Wait until tomorrow when the episode will be available for viewing on Hulu. I am greatly saddened by this turn of events.

4. The Avengers 

I feel like I'm one of the last people in the country (or at least on the internet) that hasn't seen this movie. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see it and I could not wait any longer. 

Side effect:

I will be up until the small hours of the morning watching this. But that's ok. My 7:30 am class is canceled tomorrow and I don't have to be anywhere until 10. I feel justified in my decision.

*Hyacinths and Biscuits*

I have finally named my little poetry segment. Henceforth it shall be known as "Hyacinths and Biscuits." Why? Because of this quote:

Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits.
- Carl Sandburg

What does this mean? I'm not entirely sure. But I like it. So it's staying. At least for now. 

Anywho, this is another poem I wrote a few years ago. I remember it was the summer I woke up before dawn almost everyday just to watch the sun rise (don't recall what year that was, but it was quite a while ago). I would sit outside on our back steps with my mug of freshly brewed coffee, a book, and the cat known as Peaches; and together we would watch the sun come up. It sounds more romantic than it was. Knowing how I live now, it also sounds crazy. These days I'm lucky if I wake up before lunch. But times were different back then. I actually worked at having a decent sleep schedule. Ah, to be young again.

So anyway, here's a poem:

Morning

Morning did not arrive quietly today.
It crashed in, guns blazing.
The wind chimes called out in a frenzy.
All the trees danced:
the young ones swayed,
the old ones groaned.
The air was thick with the promise of rain.
Clouds flashed in the distance.
Thunder was slow to follow,
but not for long.
Soon lightning was close enough to see.
White-hot lines shot down
like loose threads
as the sky came unraveled.
Thunder cracked, then rumbled.
It shook the world awake.
When the sky finally ripped open,
dreams fell down with the rain.

By Jamie Rueckert 

Free Pencils and Busted Pots

Well today has promised to be interesting.

so very, very sad

This morning I washed my dishes because last time I left them sitting in the sink all weekend and came back to find mold. Not acceptable. So I'm washing away, listening to music. I reach for my coffee pot because I haven't washed that for longer than I'd like to admit. So I'm scrubbing and scrubbing when suddenly: pop - snap - bang! My coffee pot is in pieces, shattered on the floor. I stand there for a moment, not quite accepting that this just happened. I didn't drop it. I was just holding it, cleaning it. Either I'm super strong or that glass was really weak. I'm inclined to wish for the former, but common sense tells me it's the latter. I clean it up and move on. But the reality of my situation hits me again and again: I can no longer make coffee in the morning! At least not until I get a new pot. I am quite devastated.

But not everything that has happened so far today has been as troubling. In my last class of the day there was a test. Now a part of this test was an essay we were assigned last Tuesday. Well, I wasn't in class on Tuesday. So I ask the teacher if I'm just going to get a zero on that part (which I would not be ok with, but I would accept since it was my own fault). She explains that yes, I would get a zero, but there is a make-up test day tomorrow and I can write the essay tonight and take the test then. I'm both relieved and saddened. I have plans for the weekend and am leaving town. But school must come first. So as I'm walking to the bulletin board where they keep the make-up test schedule, I'm dreading having to call my people and cancel. When I get to the board I notice a thick black line on the schedule. Could it be? Yes it is! Tomorrow's make-ups will not be happening. I rush back to the teacher and tell her the news. She says, "Well then you have two options. You can wait until next Friday's make-up day or you can make an appointment with me earlier in the week." I thank her ever so much and walk back to my apartment. No tests for me today! Or tomorrow!

On my way back to the apartment, I weave my way through the cars in the parking lot with a slight spring in my step (an unusual thing for me). A few yards from the front door, I find a pencil. A perfectly functioning pencil. I keep losing my own pencils, so I take this as a gift from the writing utensil gods.

only problem is it's pink. i hate pink.

And now I wait. Because I'm going to see the new James Bond movie, Skyfall, at the midnight premiere. What will happen between now and then? Who knows? Maybe I'll break something else that I love. Or maybe I'll get lucky and find something totally awesome. I'm really hoping for the latter on this one.

He's a Magic Man

Last night I watched Conan. I don't watch his show regularly. Only when there's nothing else that catches my attention do let him entertain me. But last night was special. The glorious Russell Brand was a guest. And as Conan pointed out several times during the show, Russel Brand is magical.

That man has a gift with words. He can go on and on, using the most eloquent language to say the dirtiest things. He has a magnificent way of talking (and the most delightful accent). But his jokes are often disgusting and offensive. This is why I love him. It is this apparent contradiction that makes him so appealing. The man is a paradox. One of the few memoirs I have ever read was his book, My Booky Wook. Amazing book. Extremely entertaining. Didn't get to finish it though. I borrowed it from the library through an inter-library loan program and I never took the time to check it out again. But I still plan on finishing it. Eventually. His use of the English language is just resplendent. He uses the most beautiful words to say the filthiest things. How can you not just love that? People think that just because he does and says outrageous things it means he's daft (love that word; needs to be used more in American lexicon) but he's not. He's actually pretty damn intelligent.

The way he moves reminds me of the stage actors in the olden days. Grand gestures; exaggerated facial expressions; graceful, fluttering movements as he dances across the floor. And he never sits still. In fact he never sits in a chair the proper way for very long. He's so whimsical and brilliant. All the things he does add up to make him extremely entertaining to listen to and watch. He is enchanting.

Remember or Whatever

Today in my Principles of Selling class we watched clips of Remember the Titans. Don't ask me why. It just sorta happened. The instructor somehow had it tied in with his lecture, but to be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention. We started off the class by discussing scooterboy's (yes, that's what everyone is calling him now) need for a haircut. But I digress.

there is a lot of dancing in this film
that's all I take away from it anymore

Remember the Titans. How could I ever forget them? That movie seems to follow me everywhere I go. Not that it's a bad movie. In fact it's a pretty good movie. But I cannot count the times I've had to watch it against my will. In middle school it was the go to movie whenever a teacher decided to have a movie day. Every year. We watched this movie every year. Sometimes multiple times a year. I had to write a paper on it more than once. We watched it in Sunday if I recall correctly. We watched it high school few times. It has followed me everywhere. I get it! It teaches a good lesson. Yes, it's entertaining. But come on. What does this movie have to do with selling?

Being forced to watch this movie over and over has probably contributed a great deal to my dislike for sports movies (Mighty Ducks and Space Jam don't count because those are classics and were a crucial part of my childhood). Coach Carter, Glory Road, The Blind Side, We Are Marshall, etc. I have absolutely no desire to see any of these. Although, I'm pretty sure I had to watch Glory Road in my US History class once in high school. No idea why. We also watched Pearl Harbor in that class (because it is so accurate and educational).

And Done

As I'm sure everyone has heard by now, Obama has been re-elected. Don't get me wrong, I am delighted by this. But I'm not inclined to give a discourse on why I'm pleased with the outcome of the election. There are a million places out there on the internet where one could find people's opinions (some of them smart and well thought out; most of them just word vomit) on this. For instance, Facebook has, not surprisingly, been flooded with statuses in which everyone giving their two cents about the outcome. Never has it been more clear to me where my friends stand politically (or, more accurately, where their parents stand).

I'm not sure why, but this makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Perhaps it's because half the people seem to be irrationally angry and the other half seem to be unjustifiably arrogant. I doubt the outcome of this election is going cause the country to crumble. But I also think it's just as unlikely that everything's going to magically change for the better overnight (much like last time). Also, I'm getting really tired of people saying they are tired of people claiming they're moving to Canada now. But I suppose this is what I get for living in a red state. 

This election season has turned me cynical I think. Four years ago, I was ecstatic when Obama won. I cried during his acceptance speech. I carried on and on about how I would tell my children about the first president I ever voted for. I wore that damn sticker declaring "I Voted" for weeks. But now I'm just glad it's over and my guy won.

Down Days

Yes. Well. That didn't last long. There were many distractions this weekend and my goal fell by the wayside. But I'll have you know I'm not even sorry. I had a fantastic weekend.

I did not, however, have a fantastic Monday.

Or Tuesday, for that matter.

And so to fight the gloom of returning to real life, I have immersed myself in the fictional. British drama, to be precise. Perhaps not the best thing to be watching if you wish to raise your spirits. But it is oh so entertaining. Particularly Downton Abbey. Have I mentioned before that I love this show? If not, it was a dreadful oversight on my part.

This show is fantastic: completely over the top drama, endless twists and turns, unexpected deaths, new characters popping in to shake things up, old characters with their bag of tricks, mysterious pasts slowly coming to light, love triangles, war tearing people apart, constant complications and so on and so forth. The British know just how to snake in under my emotional defenses, get a grip on my heart, and then mercilessly wrench it until I'm left a complete mess. But I love it. These characters and their ridiculous lives fascinate me. Plus, I have always been a sucker for a good costume drama.

And have I mentioned that Maggie Smith is a complete rock star in this show? Her hats alone are just magical.

Because I'm Lazy

Yeah, I couldn't think of anything to post today. And I didn't want to give up my little goal so soon. So I'm copping out. I'm just going to post another poem right away. In a still yet to be named 'segment' of my blog:

This is poem a I wrote in my 'angsty teenager' phase. This is a common phase. Or at least if I'm to believe the movies it is. At that time I enjoyed writing rather cheerless, if somewhat cliche, poetry, much like many of my peers.

Crazier Than the Rest

Don't worry my love
It happens to the best of us
The new pieces you are given don't fit
And you lose the game before you had a chance to begin
Ah, the game!
That is what this is all about
The game that is impossible to win
But we toss our hats in the ring every time
The players you know
The players you don't know
The times when you were skipped over
The turns you didn't take when you had the chance
All of this culminates to create the venture they call life
Don't worry love
It happens to everyone
It just hurts you more than it should
For you, my dear, you are crazier than the rest

By Jamie Rueckert 

Phillip

Yesterday I found a nickel. It was probably the highlight of my Halloween. And it led me down a winding path that ended with me watching episodes of The Fairly Oddparents at one o'clock in the morning.

When you find a penny, it means you'll have luck all day. When you find a dine, it means a dead person is trying to talk to you. What does it mean when you find a nickel? According to a cursory survey of the internet, it means nothing. Except that you might watch cartoons from your childhood late into the night and end up with a serious case of nostalgia. (Did you know that they are still making this show? It's in its 9th season.)

But man I wish finding that nickel had meant luck was in store for me because I really needed it yesterday. I was late to my first class (in which we not one, but two tests), I was dropping things all over the place (and almost broke a lot of glass), I cut my hand on something (still not sure how or where that happened). All of this happened before noon.

And today has started off to be not much different. Stupid nickel.

Happy Halloween And All That Drivel

Well here it is. The end of October.

Earlier this month, I set a goal for this blog. I wanted to post something everyday. It was a simple goal. But this goal was doomed to fail from the start since I didn't think of it until the second of October. And so I altered it to posting 31 times before the end of the month. One post for each day in October. Alas, I have not met this goal. As I'm writing this, I only have 20 posts (not including this one). But you know what? I still think that's pretty good and I'll just try again next month.

October is usually my favorite month. And not just because of my birthday (though that is no small part of it). It's when the leaves start to change and the air gets crisp. The weather is constantly in flux. You never know what the next day will bring. Rain? Snow? A random, unwanted heatwave? October is deliciously unpredictable. And it smells amazing.

But this October has not been kind to me and I'm not sorry to see it go. I'm ready for November.

Unnamed Segment

Still don't have a name for this. I keep waiting for one to just come to me, but it's not working. 

Anywho, this is a poem I wrote years and years ago. I was just trying to describe myself and how I can never seem to find the middle. I'm always one or the other. No balance. No happy medium. Now it kinda reminds me of that song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Love that video by the way. Classic 90's.

Range

Cynical when necessary
Optimistic if possible
Dreamy when I feel like it
But forever thinking logical
Justice in my heart
Fantasies in my head
And a hungry curiosity
That demands to be fed
Tense in the morning
Gracious by the noon
Relaxed in the evening
Knowing night is coming soon
Perfection when I want it
Or rebellion if it’s right
A peaceful nature always
Until I want to fight
Quiet and contemplative
Obnoxious and loud
Humble and forgiving
Resentful and proud
A realist but a dreamer
When the day eventually ends
Who I’ll be tomorrow
Well, that all depends

By Jamie Rueckert 

They Paved Paradise for This

I meander through parking lots multiple times everyday. Not an exciting way to start a story, I know, but bear with me. Actually this isn't really a story at all. I'm just bored and feel like writing. But the thing is, I can't think of anything interesting to write about. So I'm just going to list off some random things I noticed today as I moseyed through the parking lots.

First thing I noticed on my walk was a shiny new silver Ford Mustang. Now, I'm not a car person and I don't pretend to be. Usually, if it has four wheels and works, I call it good. But for some reason I've always had a thing for Mustangs. When I go through my mid-life crisis, I will probably buy one on impulse. Anyway, as I was checking the one type of car that I actually care about, I noticed something I found to be rather odd. Hanging from the rear view mirror was a rainbow air freshener. I don't know why, but I found this image incongruous. I made a confused face and moved on.

In my next few steps I was to stumble upon a picture even more puzzling. A few yards from the Mustang with the questionable air freshener. I found a black Chevy Blazer parked inconspicuously enough. But something was amiss. Was it the rude bumper sticker? Was it the Iowa license plates? No. It was the pumpkin sitting on the roof. It wasn't smashed, or carved, or even painted. It was just a pumpkin. A pumpkin perched upon the middle of a vehicle's roof. It wasn't even that big of a pumpkin. It's moments like this that I wish I had decent camera on my phone because then I could offer you photographic evidence.

The last thing I noticed today didn't just stay in the parking lot. It followed me all the way back the apartment. I have long been plagued by sightings of these little deviants. They seem to be everywhere. Once you notice them, you can't stop noticing them in the strangest places. I'm speaking, of course, of socks. There was a sock trying to blend in with the leaves in the gutter. There was a sock hiding in the corner of the south stairwell. And there was a sock sitting plain as day in the middle of the hallway. Why are there always socks?!

Scooterpie

My Principles of Selling class is an odd one. During the 50 minutes I'm in here, everyone talks about every other than the principles of selling. We travel  down the most random roads and end up talking about the strangest things. I don't mind this. It's usually mildly entertaining.

But some of these people. Some of these people will not shut up. I know too much about these people and I don't even know their names. For instance, the guy across the room went to a Halloween party as the Hamburglar. Why was this information shared in this class? I have no idea.








A few moments later, I find out that the same gentleman enjoys calling scooters 'scooterpies.' He doesn't know why though. It's just something he does. (side note: this kid talks all the freaking time in this class. over the course of the last few weeks I have learned he works at Pizza Hut, likes to use the word 'righteous' because he thinks it's still cool, and a bunch of other things I don't care about.)

The girl a few rows ahead of me is wearing a beanie over a baseball hat. Why? The instructor asks and she says she doesn't want her head to get cold. Everyone laughs. I don't. I think she looks ridiculous. But to each his own I guess.

And now somehow we're talking about the price of Sirius Radio and where to find the best deals on it. How does this happen?

And these are the reasons I blog during this class.

Regrets

We all have them. Even those people who insist that they live their lives without them. Bullshit. You can try, and that's perfectly commendable, but you're not going to succeed 100% of the time. Sorry.

If you're a human being with a soul, a conscience, or any sort of empathy for your fellow man, you are going to have regrets. It's inevitable. Whether it's a harsh words spoken in the heat of battle, blatantly using someone, or not going after what you want, people will have regrets. It's a part of life.

The best thing I can think to do is just accept it. Recognize the fact that you screwed up. Feel guilty for a moment or two. Then move on. It's okay to have regrets. Just don't let them hold you back or bring you down.

Easier said than done, I know. Boy, do I know. But at least I deal with my regrets. At least I don't ignore them; let them fester. Because if you don't acknowledge them, that doesn't make them go away. They will still be there, right under the surface, affecting your life in subtle ways. And sometimes not so subtle ways.

There was once a time I refused to acknowledge my regrets. This tactic did work out well for me. And I can't imagine it would would out well for most other people. Sure there's the odd duck who honestly doesn't have regrets. But I find that weird. Almost freakish. How can you not have a single regret? It doesn't make any sense to me.

We are human. We are flawed. We will do things we are not proud of and say things we wish we hadn't. It's life. It comes with regrets. Just deal with them and move on. Don't ignore them and let them turn into some psychosis or neurosis that will eventually cost you thousands of dollars in therapy.

Monday Morning You Sure Look Fine

Ah, Monday, here you are again. My nemesis, my bane. But Monday, I have a secret to tell you. I have a shiny new weapon to fight you with today: sleep. For the first time in lord knows how long, I had a good night's sleep. Granted it was only about 6 hours, but that was more than enough for me. Thank you NyQuil Cold and Flu for clearing up my stuffed sinuses and knocking me out by 12:00.

And so this morning not only did I have enough time to make my self a delicious cup of coffee, I actually had time to enjoy it before I left for class. Mmm. Coffee. It's delicious and it gives me a nice buzz that helps me get through the day. I don't know if I entirely care that it's a bad for me. Or is it? Check out this interesting article about the subject. Turns out experts are divided on whether or not coffee is harmful. Everyone acknowledges the caffeine in it is a drug. This is a fact. But does that automatically make it harmful? Who knows? Either way, I'll still  be drinking my possibly detrimental coffee with my possibly toxic fake sugar whenever I get the chance.

Signs It’s Going to be an Interesting Day

I say ‘interesting’ and not ‘good’ because I haven’t been feeling particularly optimistic of late. 

• I woke up with the song, "I Get a Kick Out of You" stuck in my head. The Frank Sinatra version to be specific. This Frank Sinatra version to be more specific. This one actually has a little kick to it.

• Snow. For the first time this year I woke up to snow. And not just any snow. The sticky kind. I could barely see out my window because it was almost entirely covered in in a thick layer of snow. I love snow, but then I get to walk in it. And this snow is the gently falling type. No, it was snowing horizontally this morning. At least it wasn't too cold. Note to self: buy sturdier shows.

• The internet is down. I repeat: the internet is down. (at least in the Tech building it was) What does this mean for a school dependent on the internet for assignments and stuff? Shortened class periods. Nice.

• I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Again. For like this third time this year. Oddly enough, this is first time it was discussed in my psychology class. Which ended early. Because of the internet thing. Nice.

Animated, Underrated

My top five underrated animated films: (it was going to be just Disney, but Dreamworks has had some good ones too)

Again, in no particular order:

The Emperor's New Groove

Road to El Dorado

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

The Prince of Egypt

The Hunchback of Notre Dame 

This post has been sitting my drafts for weeks now. I was going to give reasons as to why these are my favorite, but I'm am just so behind on things and I am being lazy. Forgive me. 

*I might, if I feel so inclined, come back and revise this to give my reasons at a later date. 

Circadian Rhythm

Nope. Not happening. Thank god I'm still young otherwise I'm not sure I could survive this: Getting to bed at around 1:30-2:00 am on the average day. Waking up at 6:30 am most mornings. Go to class until 1:00 pm. By 1:15 I'm back the apartment and usually collapsing into my nice, comfy bed. And before I know it 3, 4, sometimes even 5 hours have gone by, delightfully spent in an exhausted sleep. When I finally emerge from my slumber, it's a rather disconcerting feeling. It takes awhile for me to reorient myself to the world around me. Then I tackle the homework that's been piling up over the week. And I try to fit at least two meals in there somewhere, usually at the most random hours.

And don't even ask me about the weekends.


A side note that has nothing to do with this post:
As I'm writing, someone in this room smells like yard work. Grass, dirt, sweat, and grease. It's not wholly unpleasant, it's just there. Hanging in the air. It's mildly distracting.

A New Segment Called...

...I don't know yet. I still need to come up with a good name. For half a second I considered calling it "Jamie's Poetry Corner" but I just couldn't. Too cliche, too lame.

But that's basically what this is. I'm going to post some of the poems I've written over the years. I've already posted them on another website, but I thought, "Hey, I should post some of them here too!" And so it was written, and so it shall be done. (Ten Commandments reverence. Didn't see that coming, did you?)

This poem is about my hometown. I wrote it for a class, but I still really enjoy it. I hope you do too.

Place

I forget how loud it is here.
How loud water can be.
It's not something one considers
when thinking about water.
Water is noisy.
It rumbles as it rushes by.
The sound bounces
off the concrete and steel beams
of the bridge overhead.
The rocks I stand on are smooth
and a little too slippery.
A result of spring flooding.
They are a dusty rose color.
When I think of rocks I don't think
grey or brown. I think pink.
Rose quartz plucked from the quarry.
There is so much of it here,
the entire place has a pink tinge.

By Jamie Rueckert 

Small Confession

I usually try not to write down my goals. Or even tell people about them. Or even think about them too much.

The reason? I'm afraid I'll jinx them.

Please note that I'm mostly talking about short term, small goals. (like posting here everyday) But sometimes the big ones too. 

More often than not, if I write them down or speak of them, my goals do not get met.  What does this say about me? I'm overly superstitious? I have a pathological fear of commitment, even to the most mundane things? I can't accept responsibility for my own failures so push the blame off on something that isn't even real?

The fact is, I'm more likely to follow through with something if I don't tell anybody or write it down. If I don't make any promises to myself, the chances of success increase. Quite the opposite of how it's supposed to work. Instead of inspiring me to finish what I started, it puts pressure on me that I often can't handle, or, more accurately, just don't want to handle.

I like to think it's because, at my core, I am a bit a perfectionist. I've said it before. If I don't think I can do it perfectly the first time, I often won't even try. I guess that whole message of 'try, try again' was lost somewhere along the way. Or maybe I just decided to go with what Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try." The little green bastard. (I'm kidding, I love that ancient alien)

see? it exists.

Over the years though, believe it or not, I have gotten a hell of a lot better at this whole everything-I-do-needs-to-be-perfect thing. For instance, this summer I learned to knit. And I suck at it. But I'm still trying. Or at least I was. The scarf I was working has kinda gotten shelved for the moment. But I fully intend to return to it in the near future.

There. I've written down a goal and I'm sharing it with the Internet. See? I'm trying. I'm learning and growing as an individual. Yay me.

Reheated Soup for Breakfast

Yesterday was not my day. But today. Well, today is also not my day. Up at 6:30 to make it to my 7:35 class. At least that was the plan. That turned into up at 7:03 to rush through everything to make it to my 7:35 class ten minutes early. But there was no one there except the instructor and one other student. Hawkward. So I opened the Internet and started writing to make it look like I'm doing something important. And, oh god, then the instructor started to play "Memory" from Cats.

Yes, it hasn't been my day in a while now. It hasn't been my week in a while. Or my month. Or even my year. (clap clap clap clap clap) But today is Thursday, or as I like to call it, the new Friday. Since I do not have class on Fridays and am currently unemployed, my weekend starts on Thursday afternoon.

Yes, be jealous world. I am in perpetual three-day-weekend mode. Only thing is, it's totally screwing with my sleep schedule. Not to mention that I often forget what day it actually is. Since Thursdays are now Fridays, Wednesdays are Thursdays, and so on. But, alas, Mondays are still Mondays.