Happy Halloween And All That Drivel

Well here it is. The end of October.

Earlier this month, I set a goal for this blog. I wanted to post something everyday. It was a simple goal. But this goal was doomed to fail from the start since I didn't think of it until the second of October. And so I altered it to posting 31 times before the end of the month. One post for each day in October. Alas, I have not met this goal. As I'm writing this, I only have 20 posts (not including this one). But you know what? I still think that's pretty good and I'll just try again next month.

October is usually my favorite month. And not just because of my birthday (though that is no small part of it). It's when the leaves start to change and the air gets crisp. The weather is constantly in flux. You never know what the next day will bring. Rain? Snow? A random, unwanted heatwave? October is deliciously unpredictable. And it smells amazing.

But this October has not been kind to me and I'm not sorry to see it go. I'm ready for November.

Unnamed Segment

Still don't have a name for this. I keep waiting for one to just come to me, but it's not working. 

Anywho, this is a poem I wrote years and years ago. I was just trying to describe myself and how I can never seem to find the middle. I'm always one or the other. No balance. No happy medium. Now it kinda reminds me of that song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Love that video by the way. Classic 90's.

Range

Cynical when necessary
Optimistic if possible
Dreamy when I feel like it
But forever thinking logical
Justice in my heart
Fantasies in my head
And a hungry curiosity
That demands to be fed
Tense in the morning
Gracious by the noon
Relaxed in the evening
Knowing night is coming soon
Perfection when I want it
Or rebellion if it’s right
A peaceful nature always
Until I want to fight
Quiet and contemplative
Obnoxious and loud
Humble and forgiving
Resentful and proud
A realist but a dreamer
When the day eventually ends
Who I’ll be tomorrow
Well, that all depends

By Jamie Rueckert 

They Paved Paradise for This

I meander through parking lots multiple times everyday. Not an exciting way to start a story, I know, but bear with me. Actually this isn't really a story at all. I'm just bored and feel like writing. But the thing is, I can't think of anything interesting to write about. So I'm just going to list off some random things I noticed today as I moseyed through the parking lots.

First thing I noticed on my walk was a shiny new silver Ford Mustang. Now, I'm not a car person and I don't pretend to be. Usually, if it has four wheels and works, I call it good. But for some reason I've always had a thing for Mustangs. When I go through my mid-life crisis, I will probably buy one on impulse. Anyway, as I was checking the one type of car that I actually care about, I noticed something I found to be rather odd. Hanging from the rear view mirror was a rainbow air freshener. I don't know why, but I found this image incongruous. I made a confused face and moved on.

In my next few steps I was to stumble upon a picture even more puzzling. A few yards from the Mustang with the questionable air freshener. I found a black Chevy Blazer parked inconspicuously enough. But something was amiss. Was it the rude bumper sticker? Was it the Iowa license plates? No. It was the pumpkin sitting on the roof. It wasn't smashed, or carved, or even painted. It was just a pumpkin. A pumpkin perched upon the middle of a vehicle's roof. It wasn't even that big of a pumpkin. It's moments like this that I wish I had decent camera on my phone because then I could offer you photographic evidence.

The last thing I noticed today didn't just stay in the parking lot. It followed me all the way back the apartment. I have long been plagued by sightings of these little deviants. They seem to be everywhere. Once you notice them, you can't stop noticing them in the strangest places. I'm speaking, of course, of socks. There was a sock trying to blend in with the leaves in the gutter. There was a sock hiding in the corner of the south stairwell. And there was a sock sitting plain as day in the middle of the hallway. Why are there always socks?!

Scooterpie

My Principles of Selling class is an odd one. During the 50 minutes I'm in here, everyone talks about every other than the principles of selling. We travel  down the most random roads and end up talking about the strangest things. I don't mind this. It's usually mildly entertaining.

But some of these people. Some of these people will not shut up. I know too much about these people and I don't even know their names. For instance, the guy across the room went to a Halloween party as the Hamburglar. Why was this information shared in this class? I have no idea.








A few moments later, I find out that the same gentleman enjoys calling scooters 'scooterpies.' He doesn't know why though. It's just something he does. (side note: this kid talks all the freaking time in this class. over the course of the last few weeks I have learned he works at Pizza Hut, likes to use the word 'righteous' because he thinks it's still cool, and a bunch of other things I don't care about.)

The girl a few rows ahead of me is wearing a beanie over a baseball hat. Why? The instructor asks and she says she doesn't want her head to get cold. Everyone laughs. I don't. I think she looks ridiculous. But to each his own I guess.

And now somehow we're talking about the price of Sirius Radio and where to find the best deals on it. How does this happen?

And these are the reasons I blog during this class.

Regrets

We all have them. Even those people who insist that they live their lives without them. Bullshit. You can try, and that's perfectly commendable, but you're not going to succeed 100% of the time. Sorry.

If you're a human being with a soul, a conscience, or any sort of empathy for your fellow man, you are going to have regrets. It's inevitable. Whether it's a harsh words spoken in the heat of battle, blatantly using someone, or not going after what you want, people will have regrets. It's a part of life.

The best thing I can think to do is just accept it. Recognize the fact that you screwed up. Feel guilty for a moment or two. Then move on. It's okay to have regrets. Just don't let them hold you back or bring you down.

Easier said than done, I know. Boy, do I know. But at least I deal with my regrets. At least I don't ignore them; let them fester. Because if you don't acknowledge them, that doesn't make them go away. They will still be there, right under the surface, affecting your life in subtle ways. And sometimes not so subtle ways.

There was once a time I refused to acknowledge my regrets. This tactic did work out well for me. And I can't imagine it would would out well for most other people. Sure there's the odd duck who honestly doesn't have regrets. But I find that weird. Almost freakish. How can you not have a single regret? It doesn't make any sense to me.

We are human. We are flawed. We will do things we are not proud of and say things we wish we hadn't. It's life. It comes with regrets. Just deal with them and move on. Don't ignore them and let them turn into some psychosis or neurosis that will eventually cost you thousands of dollars in therapy.

Monday Morning You Sure Look Fine

Ah, Monday, here you are again. My nemesis, my bane. But Monday, I have a secret to tell you. I have a shiny new weapon to fight you with today: sleep. For the first time in lord knows how long, I had a good night's sleep. Granted it was only about 6 hours, but that was more than enough for me. Thank you NyQuil Cold and Flu for clearing up my stuffed sinuses and knocking me out by 12:00.

And so this morning not only did I have enough time to make my self a delicious cup of coffee, I actually had time to enjoy it before I left for class. Mmm. Coffee. It's delicious and it gives me a nice buzz that helps me get through the day. I don't know if I entirely care that it's a bad for me. Or is it? Check out this interesting article about the subject. Turns out experts are divided on whether or not coffee is harmful. Everyone acknowledges the caffeine in it is a drug. This is a fact. But does that automatically make it harmful? Who knows? Either way, I'll still  be drinking my possibly detrimental coffee with my possibly toxic fake sugar whenever I get the chance.

Signs It’s Going to be an Interesting Day

I say ‘interesting’ and not ‘good’ because I haven’t been feeling particularly optimistic of late. 

• I woke up with the song, "I Get a Kick Out of You" stuck in my head. The Frank Sinatra version to be specific. This Frank Sinatra version to be more specific. This one actually has a little kick to it.

• Snow. For the first time this year I woke up to snow. And not just any snow. The sticky kind. I could barely see out my window because it was almost entirely covered in in a thick layer of snow. I love snow, but then I get to walk in it. And this snow is the gently falling type. No, it was snowing horizontally this morning. At least it wasn't too cold. Note to self: buy sturdier shows.

• The internet is down. I repeat: the internet is down. (at least in the Tech building it was) What does this mean for a school dependent on the internet for assignments and stuff? Shortened class periods. Nice.

• I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Again. For like this third time this year. Oddly enough, this is first time it was discussed in my psychology class. Which ended early. Because of the internet thing. Nice.

Animated, Underrated

My top five underrated animated films: (it was going to be just Disney, but Dreamworks has had some good ones too)

Again, in no particular order:

The Emperor's New Groove

Road to El Dorado

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

The Prince of Egypt

The Hunchback of Notre Dame 

This post has been sitting my drafts for weeks now. I was going to give reasons as to why these are my favorite, but I'm am just so behind on things and I am being lazy. Forgive me. 

*I might, if I feel so inclined, come back and revise this to give my reasons at a later date. 

Circadian Rhythm

Nope. Not happening. Thank god I'm still young otherwise I'm not sure I could survive this: Getting to bed at around 1:30-2:00 am on the average day. Waking up at 6:30 am most mornings. Go to class until 1:00 pm. By 1:15 I'm back the apartment and usually collapsing into my nice, comfy bed. And before I know it 3, 4, sometimes even 5 hours have gone by, delightfully spent in an exhausted sleep. When I finally emerge from my slumber, it's a rather disconcerting feeling. It takes awhile for me to reorient myself to the world around me. Then I tackle the homework that's been piling up over the week. And I try to fit at least two meals in there somewhere, usually at the most random hours.

And don't even ask me about the weekends.


A side note that has nothing to do with this post:
As I'm writing, someone in this room smells like yard work. Grass, dirt, sweat, and grease. It's not wholly unpleasant, it's just there. Hanging in the air. It's mildly distracting.

A New Segment Called...

...I don't know yet. I still need to come up with a good name. For half a second I considered calling it "Jamie's Poetry Corner" but I just couldn't. Too cliche, too lame.

But that's basically what this is. I'm going to post some of the poems I've written over the years. I've already posted them on another website, but I thought, "Hey, I should post some of them here too!" And so it was written, and so it shall be done. (Ten Commandments reverence. Didn't see that coming, did you?)

This poem is about my hometown. I wrote it for a class, but I still really enjoy it. I hope you do too.

Place

I forget how loud it is here.
How loud water can be.
It's not something one considers
when thinking about water.
Water is noisy.
It rumbles as it rushes by.
The sound bounces
off the concrete and steel beams
of the bridge overhead.
The rocks I stand on are smooth
and a little too slippery.
A result of spring flooding.
They are a dusty rose color.
When I think of rocks I don't think
grey or brown. I think pink.
Rose quartz plucked from the quarry.
There is so much of it here,
the entire place has a pink tinge.

By Jamie Rueckert