Will You Be My Friend (Terms and Conditions Apply)

I knew that after school finding friends would become difficult. I have always wondered how adults do it. Sure you can make friends at work. But “work friends” are different. You can hang out outside of work, but what do you talk about? Work. Maybe if you’re lucky you can find a real friend who happens to be a coworker. But life isn’t a workplace sitcom. Everyone doesn’t mesh together. We don’t all go out for a beer (or in my case, a hard cider) after we punch out.* But this isn’t an episode of Scubs.

but gods, i wish it were

It’s lonely out here in the real word. All of the amazing friends I did manage to make in college have been scattered to the four winds. It’s hard to get together. But some of us do manage it every few months or so. The rest are either too far away or too busy with their new lives.

As an introvert (which I very much am) it’s always been a challenge to make friends. People often mistake my quiet demeanor for aloofness. They take offense where none was meant. Or they leap to the conclusion that I don’t like them. How do I know this? I overhear things. I’m quiet; so people often forget I have ears just because I don’t use my mouth as much as they do.

I had a woman I once worked with ask me why I’m always so serious. This aggravated me because I’m not. I’m not a serious person. I just have a hard time socializing and joking with people I don’t know well enough yet.

Is this what everyone thinks of me? That I’m just sad and serious all the time? Yeah, I can be those things but that’s not who I am. And when people say things like that to me I usually snap back because it pisses me off. Nothing in this world irks me more than the following phrases:

• “We’ll break you of the that shell”
  (which implies there’s something wrong with being introverted. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, you jerks)

• “Oh look! You even made Jamie laugh!”
  (which implies I am some alien life form that has no sense of humor. I’ll laugh when you say something that’s actually funny, dammit)

• “It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for”
  (which implies I’m always plotting something devious. But, then, maybe I am…asshats)

So on and on it goes. People think I’m unfriendly or “have a problem with them” because I’m quiet. These misconceptions throw up huge blocks on the road to friendship. But I refuse to become someone I’m not just to please people and make fake friends.

i might have shared this before, but i still love it.
so look at it again. 

Side note: I've been reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Highly recommend, no matter where you fall on the spectrum.

*please note that I am describing my previous place of employment here. My current coworkers do, in fact, go out after work together quite frequently.