Signs It’s Going to be an Interesting Day

I say ‘interesting’ and not ‘good’ because I haven’t been feeling particularly optimistic of late. 

• I woke up with the song, "I Get a Kick Out of You" stuck in my head. The Frank Sinatra version to be specific. This Frank Sinatra version to be more specific. This one actually has a little kick to it.

• Snow. For the first time this year I woke up to snow. And not just any snow. The sticky kind. I could barely see out my window because it was almost entirely covered in in a thick layer of snow. I love snow, but then I get to walk in it. And this snow is the gently falling type. No, it was snowing horizontally this morning. At least it wasn't too cold. Note to self: buy sturdier shows.

• The internet is down. I repeat: the internet is down. (at least in the Tech building it was) What does this mean for a school dependent on the internet for assignments and stuff? Shortened class periods. Nice.

• I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Again. For like this third time this year. Oddly enough, this is first time it was discussed in my psychology class. Which ended early. Because of the internet thing. Nice.

Animated, Underrated

My top five underrated animated films: (it was going to be just Disney, but Dreamworks has had some good ones too)

Again, in no particular order:

The Emperor's New Groove

Road to El Dorado

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

The Prince of Egypt

The Hunchback of Notre Dame 

This post has been sitting my drafts for weeks now. I was going to give reasons as to why these are my favorite, but I'm am just so behind on things and I am being lazy. Forgive me. 

*I might, if I feel so inclined, come back and revise this to give my reasons at a later date. 

Circadian Rhythm

Nope. Not happening. Thank god I'm still young otherwise I'm not sure I could survive this: Getting to bed at around 1:30-2:00 am on the average day. Waking up at 6:30 am most mornings. Go to class until 1:00 pm. By 1:15 I'm back the apartment and usually collapsing into my nice, comfy bed. And before I know it 3, 4, sometimes even 5 hours have gone by, delightfully spent in an exhausted sleep. When I finally emerge from my slumber, it's a rather disconcerting feeling. It takes awhile for me to reorient myself to the world around me. Then I tackle the homework that's been piling up over the week. And I try to fit at least two meals in there somewhere, usually at the most random hours.

And don't even ask me about the weekends.


A side note that has nothing to do with this post:
As I'm writing, someone in this room smells like yard work. Grass, dirt, sweat, and grease. It's not wholly unpleasant, it's just there. Hanging in the air. It's mildly distracting.

A New Segment Called...

...I don't know yet. I still need to come up with a good name. For half a second I considered calling it "Jamie's Poetry Corner" but I just couldn't. Too cliche, too lame.

But that's basically what this is. I'm going to post some of the poems I've written over the years. I've already posted them on another website, but I thought, "Hey, I should post some of them here too!" And so it was written, and so it shall be done. (Ten Commandments reverence. Didn't see that coming, did you?)

This poem is about my hometown. I wrote it for a class, but I still really enjoy it. I hope you do too.

Place

I forget how loud it is here.
How loud water can be.
It's not something one considers
when thinking about water.
Water is noisy.
It rumbles as it rushes by.
The sound bounces
off the concrete and steel beams
of the bridge overhead.
The rocks I stand on are smooth
and a little too slippery.
A result of spring flooding.
They are a dusty rose color.
When I think of rocks I don't think
grey or brown. I think pink.
Rose quartz plucked from the quarry.
There is so much of it here,
the entire place has a pink tinge.

By Jamie Rueckert 

Small Confession

I usually try not to write down my goals. Or even tell people about them. Or even think about them too much.

The reason? I'm afraid I'll jinx them.

Please note that I'm mostly talking about short term, small goals. (like posting here everyday) But sometimes the big ones too. 

More often than not, if I write them down or speak of them, my goals do not get met.  What does this say about me? I'm overly superstitious? I have a pathological fear of commitment, even to the most mundane things? I can't accept responsibility for my own failures so push the blame off on something that isn't even real?

The fact is, I'm more likely to follow through with something if I don't tell anybody or write it down. If I don't make any promises to myself, the chances of success increase. Quite the opposite of how it's supposed to work. Instead of inspiring me to finish what I started, it puts pressure on me that I often can't handle, or, more accurately, just don't want to handle.

I like to think it's because, at my core, I am a bit a perfectionist. I've said it before. If I don't think I can do it perfectly the first time, I often won't even try. I guess that whole message of 'try, try again' was lost somewhere along the way. Or maybe I just decided to go with what Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try." The little green bastard. (I'm kidding, I love that ancient alien)

see? it exists.

Over the years though, believe it or not, I have gotten a hell of a lot better at this whole everything-I-do-needs-to-be-perfect thing. For instance, this summer I learned to knit. And I suck at it. But I'm still trying. Or at least I was. The scarf I was working has kinda gotten shelved for the moment. But I fully intend to return to it in the near future.

There. I've written down a goal and I'm sharing it with the Internet. See? I'm trying. I'm learning and growing as an individual. Yay me.

Reheated Soup for Breakfast

Yesterday was not my day. But today. Well, today is also not my day. Up at 6:30 to make it to my 7:35 class. At least that was the plan. That turned into up at 7:03 to rush through everything to make it to my 7:35 class ten minutes early. But there was no one there except the instructor and one other student. Hawkward. So I opened the Internet and started writing to make it look like I'm doing something important. And, oh god, then the instructor started to play "Memory" from Cats.

Yes, it hasn't been my day in a while now. It hasn't been my week in a while. Or my month. Or even my year. (clap clap clap clap clap) But today is Thursday, or as I like to call it, the new Friday. Since I do not have class on Fridays and am currently unemployed, my weekend starts on Thursday afternoon.

Yes, be jealous world. I am in perpetual three-day-weekend mode. Only thing is, it's totally screwing with my sleep schedule. Not to mention that I often forget what day it actually is. Since Thursdays are now Fridays, Wednesdays are Thursdays, and so on. But, alas, Mondays are still Mondays.

Deliciously Disney Ditties

My dreams had a soundtrack last night and I woke up humming "Son of Man" by Phil Collins. Not that I'm complaining by any means. I love Phil Collins and I especially love Disney music. How could I not? My entire generation was practically raised on it. And for good reason. The music from animated Disney movies is amazing. It's no accident that Alan Menken kept getting nominated for Oscars.

Recently, I've been listening to my Disney collection quite often. I'm humming "Hakuna Matata" as I'm walking to class. I go to sleep listening to "The Bells of Notre Dame." I find nothing wrong with
this behavior.

Here's my top five favorite Disney movies based solely on the soundtrack: (in no particular order)

Lion King - Duh. Elton John rocked this and it should be on everyone's favorite list. They didn't turn this movie into a Broadway musical for no reason. The moment in at the very beginning when that first note hits, "Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!" (actual lyrics, I looked them up) you know something awesome is about to happen. And who as a little kid did not try the their very best to sing along and fail horribly?

Hunchback of Notre Dame - Sweeping melodies, grand orchestral themes, intensely poignant lyrics. All of this in an often overlooked movie because its subject matter is perhaps a little too intense for small children. But when the character Clopin hits that last note in the reprise of "The Bells of Notre Dame," I still get chills.

Pocahontas - The songs in this movie have always held mystical quality for me. Grand and yet simple at the same time. The word 'profound' comes to mind and this music is deserving of it. Also, Pocahontas is one of my favorite Disney heroines. She's independent, fights for what she believes in, and refuses to be a damsel in distress.

Hercules - While the style of music does not match the setting or themes of the movie, it's still a delight to listen to. I don't know who thought gospel music had a place in ancient Greece, but they were a little off. As a child I didn't question. Now watching this movie I'm a little confused by it. It's good music though. And who can argue with the deliciousness that is "Go the Distance"? Michael Bolton knocked that one out the park.

Tarzan - And here's where Phil Collins comes in. He helped compose the entire soundtrack and it is magical. The pounding percussion fits into the film beautifully. His compositions transcended the realm of animated films and became mainstream successes. I still hear "You'll Be in My Heart" on the radio occasionally.

Who Are You People?

I get to math class about ten minutes before it starts. This is normal for me. What isn't normal is walking into a nearly empty room. Usually, half the class is already there by the time I arrive. Not today. There were four other people in the room and I didn't recognize one of them. I looked at the board. Yes, it says Math 115 - Section 7. I double check my calendar. Yes, I have this class at 10:35 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And yet I feel as if I'm in the wrong place. Not one of these faces rings a bell.

As other students to meander in, I get more nervous. I don't recognize any of them at all. Was there a change made that I am unaware of? Did I miss an email? Who are these people?! Then finally, one person, one face (though no name) that I do recall walks in. I am in the right place. Relief.

Then I am struck by the realization that I have no idea who any of these people are. I don't pay them any attention. They are barely blips on my radar. I recognize that there are other people in the room, but I don't take the time to actually see them. This makes me uncomfortable, though I can't exactly say why.

Against My Grain

I'm currently enrolled in a course called Business Communications. And I'm currently in the process of learning to resent it. In fact, I'm beginning resent most of the classes I'm taking. In almost every one of them we have discussed writing for business purposes. The point that has been driven home again and again is that one's writing (and talking) should be done in a small manner. Small words, short paragraphs, simple sentences. I understand why this is the case, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

And I don't like it. In fact, I detest it. It goes against everything I am. I am a word person. I use 'big' words. I expatiate on and on about things and go off on random tangents. Words are what I have. Words are what I am. The thesaurus has been my best friend since I was 12. Ever year in school there were papers to be written and every year they became more complicated. Longer. Everything had to be longer. More words. Find new ways to say the same thing twelve times. Paragraphs are not paragraphs unless they contain at least three sentences. Now five sentences. Now eight sentences. Complex sentences. Compound sentences. Compound words. Rare words. New words. Words words words! (and now it the word 'word' doesn't look like a real word)

But now I've ventured into the 'less is more' territory. Actually, it's more like the 'simple is all you can expect people to understand' territory. I get it. I know not everyone has a vast vocabulary. In business you want your message to be clear and easily understood.

The class itself is not very difficult. It's quite easy really. So I shouldn't be complaining. Half of it is grammar lessons, and I pretty much have that down. I know my grammar. (I just don't use it much here because it's a blog; a forum with very relaxed rules)


But understanding why does not change the fact that every time an instructor tells us that we must keep our sentences short and simple, I grind my teeth a little bit.

Sultry, Snowy Birthdays

As you may or may not be aware, October 5th is my birthday. I mentioned earlier that I always dress up for my birthday. This year was different some how. I just wasn't in the mood to look fancy. Maybe because this year has not been such a good one. Maybe because it was just too freaking cold out to wear a dress. Last year it was 80 degrees on my birthday. But there have been years where it has snowed. I was just feeling down today. So after I spent an hour curling my hair, I put on my favorite pair of jeans and a t-shirt and called it good. But then my dear mother (love you mum!) made my day when I went to visit her at work. She was just so happy to see me, I couldn't help but feel better. And then she went on to spoil me this year and gifted me the following items:

This wine glass with rainbow stripes. I have dubbed him Marco, The Celebration Glass. Originally I was going to call him Little Marvin. But I think I like Marco better. I now realize how silly this picture is since there no liquid in the glass. Trust me though, Marco will be used for his intended purpose very soon. 

For a long time now, this book has been on my list. And now that I own a copy, I have no more excuses not to read it. I've been told, however, to avoid the movie. I think I'll heed this advice and just stick with the book. 

This totally awesome wallet and amazing purse. They do not coordinate with each other at all, but that just makes me love them more. I love mixing things that don't match. It makes life interestingly chaotic.

This totally awesome photo frame. It looks like film! How could you not love it? And yes, those are pictures of me in there. I just stuck some old senior photos I had lying around in it for demonstration purposes only.

You can't really tell from the photo, but that is vintage copy of Jane Eyre. I love it so very, very much. Jane Eyre is one of my all-time favorite novels. I already own another copy, but this one is deliciously vintage. And it smells amazing!

.

 This fascinatingly shaped vase. Not sure if I like how this photo turned out. I look a little too in love with the thing. I'm mean it's totally cool, but it's not that cool. But I'm way too lazy to go and try take a better picture. So I'll just look like a crazy lady who's in love with a red vase on the internet. Ah, well.

This totally kickass mini suitcase. Yeah I know it's meant for a small child and, no, I don't care. It has a freaking elephant sneezing a freaking rainbow. How could I not freaking love it?

And finally this awesome vintage fan. It's old. It's working. And it's probably very dangerous.  But I love it.